Mad Musical Melodies
by CaptainHooksGirl
Summary: A selection of AiW inspired songfics.  Will be mostly Alice/Hatter, but I have included a few songs dedicated to other characters, including Helen, the queens, and Stayne.  I do not own Alice in Wonderland or any of the songs included in this fanfic.
1. Falling Stars

**Falling Stars**

The Royal Hatter stared at the beautiful girl – no, woman – who had just slain the Jabberwocky. Standing proudly in the ruins of the battlefield, silver armor gleaming in the sunlight and golden curls cascading down her back, she looked for all the world like Joan of Arc – like one of the mighty angels of the heavenly army, come to rid the world of evil. Truly, she was an angel, his angel. She had delivered them from the Red Queen's reign of terror and brought more joy to his heart than he'd felt in years. But now the battle was over, and it was time for his angel to fly away, to return home to heaven where she belonged, for surely no creature as marvelously muchy as an Absolutely Alice could belong in a world as dull as Overland. He knew she could not stay, and yet, a part of him hoped that maybe...

"You could stay," he whispered, not daring to look her in the eye.

"What an idea! A crazy, mad, wonderful idea." She smiled, and for a moment, he dared to think that perhaps she would choose him. But then her smile faltered, and it didn't look right for an Alice to have such a sad expression. "But I can't. I have things to do, questions I have to answer." She put the vial of purple Jabberwocky blood to her lips, then paused. "Be back before you know it," she smiled sadly.

"You won't remember me," he lisped.

_When you forget me  
When you don't remember my name  
Not even a memory  
Somewhere in the back of your brain_

I won't be offended 'cause I always knew  
That the day would come when  
I'm not enough to make you stay 

It was inevitable, he knew. No matter how hard she tried to remember him, Overland made people forget...Gradually, he would become nothing more than a figment of her imagination again, a dream of sorts, if he was lucky. Most adults who come to Underland don't even remember that much...Last time she had the dreams, at least, to jog her memory. But grown-ups do not dream as much as children. It was highly likely that if she left, she would completely erase the Hatter and all of her Underlanian friends from her mind. It made him sick to think such thoughts, but he could never hold it against her. It was just the way things worked, and he would have to accept that if she chose to leave.

"Of course I will," she insisted. "How could I forget?" She looked hurt. Did her friends really have so little faith in her? She gently touched his arm. "Hatter, it would be impossible for me to ever forget you."__

You tell me it's not possible  
No way that we could break  
But nothing is illogical  
Believe me... 

He looked up sullenly. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes tugged at the corner of his lips. "Only if you believe it is."__

Like falling stars over your head  
We were bound to burn up alive  
Crashing cars  
I'll never get over you,  
Never over you 'cause  
You are so beautiful, yeah 

He knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that even if she forgot him, he could never, NEVER forget his Alice. He wondered what she would think if he told her how he felt. Did she know? It seemed unlikely that such a beautiful, strong woman could ever have such feelings for a mercury-poisoned Hatter with scars both inside and out. Still, he would never know if he didn't ask...

"Hatter," her melodic voice interrupted his thoughts. "Why _is _a raven like a writing desk?"

He smiled – almost a true smile. "I haven't the slightest idea."__

The world is turning  
And time keeps on lingering on  
The sun will be burning  
Eventually you will be gone 

She lifted the vial to her lips again, preparing to leave. His time was running short. He was wondering what to say when a sudden thought popped into his head.

"Alice, wait!"

She looked up with questioning chocolate-brown eyes. "Yes, Hatter?"

He licked his dry, cracked lips nervously and took the top hat from his head. "A-Alice, I want you to take this with you," he swallowed, "t-to remember me." He held the hat out toward her.

Gingerly, she took the hat from his calloused, bandaged hands into her own soft ones, looking rather shocked. "Oh, Hatter, thank you...but...But I cannot take your hat. You don't look yourself without it."

"Aye," the Scottish brogue crept in, though he tried to control it, "but Ah am nae mysel' w'out ye, lass."

Alice looked as though she were about to cry. "B-but I have nothing to give you."

He reached toward her, then withdrew his hand, afraid to spoil her radiant purity with his stained and pricked fingers, but to his surprise, she curled her own fingers around his. He gently traced her cheek with his other hand. "Ye 'ave already given meh everything Ah could e'er wish for."

_I'll always love you  
Oh, believe it or not  
But baby, that's not enough to,  
Not enough to stop these..._

Falling stars over your head  
We were bound to burn up alive  
Crashing cars  
I'll never get over you  
Never over you 'cause  
You are so beautiful, yeah 

"Hatter," she stared into his eyes, now a pale shade of blue, "I...I believe I do have something for you, after all. But you must close your eyes if it is to be a surprise." She smiled. "Have I made a rhyme?"

"So ye have, lass. But must Ah close mah eyes?"

"Please?" she asked.

It was the most frightening thing he'd ever done. More frightening than facing the Red Queen or Stayne or even the Jabberwocky. Because if he closed his eyes, he knew there was a possibility that when he opened them, she would be gone. But he trusted her, so he obeyed.__

When it's all said and done  
I'll be just a speck in the galaxy  
Floating far away by gravity  
Tell me it's not possible  
No way that we could break 

She leaned in close, taking in his scent – like tea leaves and sugar and summer sunshine. He could feel her breath on his neck.

"This belongs to you," she whispered, "and always will." [1]

Then she lifted her chin and gently pressed her lips to his. And the Hatter's heart felt as though it would burst.

_Like falling stars  
Like crashing cars  
_

Then she stepped back and tossed the Jabberwocky blood down her throat. Because she knew if she hesitated, if she thought about how happy she was here with her Hatter, she would never leave. She would regret this decision, she knew, but it was something she had to do. "Goodbye, Hatter."

"Fairfarren, Alice."

And then she was gone.

_Like falling stars over your head  
We were bound to burn out, just like  
Crashing cars  
I'll never get over you  
Never over you, 'cause  
You are so beautiful _

From the shadows, his friends emerged as the Hatter stood dumbstruck looking out at the spot where Alice had been standing only moments before. No one knew what to say.

Mally was the first to break the silence. " 'Atta, 'ave you gone completely gallymoggers? What in Underland were ya thinking, giving Alice your 'at?"

"Indeed," Chessur floated slightly above his head. "If you were going to give your hat away, the least you could do was give it to someone who would truly appreciate it." He grinned widely, then frowned. "I don't think she fully understands the significance of our Underlanian custom." For you see, when a hatter gives away his favorite hat to a lady, he is asking for her hand. By accepting it, the lady claims his heart forever.

"Ah, know, Chess."

Mally looked worried. "But what if she nevah comes back?" she squeaked.

"It does nae matter," he sighed, still staring at the spot where she had vanished. "She is the only lass who will ever own mah heart."

_You are so beautiful, yeah_

[1] This quotation (and the following kissing scene) is a direct reference to the 2003 live-action _Peter Pan_. Wendy says this to Peter on Hook's ship when she realizes that, although she must grow up, she will always love him.


	2. Mama's Song

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I forgot my disclaimer last chapter, but as you already know, Alice in Wonderland belongs to Lewis Carroll, Disney, and Tim Burton - not me! The wonderful song "Falling Stars" belongs to David Archuleta, and "Mama's Song" belongs to Carrie Underwood. If you haven't heard any of these tunes, I highly suggest you listen to them before reading the stories that go with them. It has a greater impact that way. Anyway, enjoy!

**Mama's Song**

Alice Kingsleigh stood nervously outside her front door. Today was the day. Today she would finally tell her mother about her decision to take the last name of a certain royal hatter and become Alice Hightopp. She smiled at the thought. She loved the way her new name sounded on her lips, and more than anything, she loved the man she was about to marry.

But she worried about how her mother would react. She had always wanted Alice to marry, had introduced her to countless eligible bachelors who would have loved to call her their own, but she denied every one of them. She only had feelings for one man, and she cared little about the other men's title or wealth. She did not want their money. She wanted love. Love like in all the best fairy tales. Love like Romeo and Juliet. Love like her father, Charles Kingsleigh, had felt for her mother.

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The servant who answered the door gasped, surprised to see the girl back from her travels so unexpectedly.

"Why, Miss Alice," the woman sputtered, "I thought you weren't due back for another month!"

Alice smiled. "I decided to come home early, as I had more important business to attend to here. Is my mother home?"

"Yes, yes. Do come in, child. She's upstairs at the moment, preparing to go over to the Ascot's place. She's been invited for tea this afternoon. Oh, I'm sure Mr. Ascot would simply love to hear about your most recent work abroad. He's so proud of your work!" She smiled softly. "Your father would have been proud, too."

Alice returned the smile. She wondered what her father would think of Tarrant, or Hatter, as she still liked to call him.

She walked briskly up the stairs, excited that her mother would be visiting the Ascots. It would be the perfect excuse for her to visit the rabbit hole again and surprise all of her Underlanian friends, for they, too, were under the impression that she would be away in China for quite some time, though they kept in touch through a special looking glass. She couldn't wait to see Hatter's face when she arrived home early!

"Mother?" she glanced down the hall into her mother's room. She was sitting in front of the mirror, putting up her hair. "Mother, it's Alice! I'm home! I have the most wonderful news!"

In a flash, Helen Kingsleigh was up from the chair and came running down the hall to embrace her youngest daughter. "Oh, Alice! I'm surprised to see you back so soon! Were you not supposed to be in China for several more weeks?"

"I was, but something...came up." She pulled back from the embrace and looked her mother in the eyes. "Mother, a man that I met on my travels has asked me to marry him, and I...I have accepted."

A smile spread across Helen's face, and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Alice, that's wonderful news! Who is he? A lord? A captain?"

Alice looked down and bit her lip. "Actually, Mother, he's a...a hatter. He is employed by the queen of his land."

Helen looked slightly worried. A hatter? That was definitely marrying below her status! But then again, he was a _royal_ hatter, was he not? And he must be a magnificent man indeed to have earned the approval of her rather...peculiar...daughter. "Are you sure this is what you want, dear?"

"Yes." She twirled a finger in her golden curls.

Helen hesitated. She knew what Charles would ask. "And do you...do you love one another, Alice?"

Alice flashed a grin that could contend with Chessur's infamous smile. She took her mother's hand. "More than you can imagine, Mother."

"Then you have my blessing." She embraced her daughter again. "So, why don't you tell me about this mystery man of yours on our way over to the Ascots'?"

_Mama you taught me to do the right things  
So now you have to let your baby fly  
You've given me everything that I will need  
To make it through this crazy thing called life  
And I know you watched me grow up and only want what's best for me  
And I think I found the answer to your prayers_

And he is good, so good  
He treats your little girl like a real man should  
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps  
No he's never gonna leave  
So don't you worry about me  
Don't you worry about me

The conversation during the carriage ride over to the Ascot manor was filled with many tears and bursts of girlish laughter. Mrs. Kingsleigh was so overjoyed at the prospect of Alice having finally found the right man that she acted a bit giddy, giggling like a child that has just discovered a wondrous secret as she and Alice whispered about the elusive Mr. Hightopp. In fact, her behavior would likely have passed as inappropriate in the eyes of society, but for once in her life, Helen Kingsleigh could not have cared less about what was 'proper'. She had not been this happy since Charles was alive.

When the carriage finally began to slow as they approached the manor, their laughter began to subside, and Helen began making wedding plans. "So, when will Mr. Hightopp be coming to visit? I should love to meet him, and of course, you and he shall have to decide what colors to wear, and then there's the flowers and the cake and the – "

"Mother!" She was rambling as badly as Hatter! Ordinarily, Alice would have laughed, but this time, she was serious. "Mother, I won't be getting married here...I'm going to be married by the White Queen...in Marmoreal..." She hadn't told her mother exactly where Marmoreal was, but she had tried to give her the general idea that her suitor came from another, poorly known country.

Helen looked as though she had been slapped. She had been so delighted that her daughter was getting married that she failed to realize that she might never see her again.

_Mama there's no way you'll ever lose me  
And giving me away is not goodbye  
As you watch me walk down to my future, I hope tears of joy are in your eyes_

"Mother?" Alice whispered gently, "Mother, he is the royal hatter. I cannot ask him to leave his home. I will be living with him...and I don't know when I'll be able to come and visit...or even if I'll be able to send letters...but I _will_ find a way, Mother. I will." She placed a hand on her mother's tear-stained face. "You will _never_ lose me. Even when I become Alice Hightopp, I will always be your little girl."

Helen smiled. "As long as you are happy, dear, then I am happy for you."

Cause he is good, so good  
He treats your little girl like a real man should  
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps  
No he's never gonna leave  
So don't you worry about me  
Don't you worry about me

Tea with the Ascots was dull, as usual, though Alice caused quite a stir when she brought up her latest news. Lord Ascot nearly fell over backwards in his chair; Hamish spewed tea all over the table, and Lady Ascot nearly choked on a scone. Though Lord Ascot was obviously happy for the girl, the rest of the Ascot family was less gracious.

After tea, Alice politely excused herself and told her mother that she would not be returning with her, as she had to be off again to meet Mr. Hightopp and plan for the wedding, but the look on her mother's face was devastating, and Alice simply could not bear to leave her in such a state, so she asked her mother to go for a stroll with her through the Ascot gardens before leaving.

When they came to a rather large rabbit hole, Alice stopped. "Mother, if you ever want to send me a letter, drop it into this rabbit hole. I know it sounds completely mad, and I cannot fully explain it, but trust me, I will receive it, though I cannot promise that I will be able to write back."

Helen gave her daughter a rather strange look. Was this the rabbit hole the girl had once imagined she'd travelled through as a child? She loved Alice very much, but in all honesty, she began to doubt her daughter's sanity. "If you say so, Alice."

Alice wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "I love you, Mother. Please, keep my secret."

"What secr-" But before the words were out of her mouth, Alice had already jumped down into the hole...and did not come back out.

Helen peered curiously into the hole. She could not see the bottom. It looked as though it was hundreds of feet deep, but that was impossible, right? Helen pinched herself to see if she was awake. She was surprised when she felt the sting on her arm.

And when I watch my little baby grow I'll only want what's best for her  
And I hope she'll find the answer to my prayers  
And that she'll say

He is good, so good  
He treats your little girl like a real man should  
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps  
No he's never gonna leave  
So don't you worry about me  
Don't you worry about me

Nearly a year and half later...

Helen Kingsleigh was just finishing her afternoon tea when there was a knock at the door. Emily, the servant, was off duty, as it was Christmas Day and Helen insisted that the woman spend time with her family. She was not expecting Lowell and Margaret for another two hours, so she was hesitant to answer; nevertheless, she would never turn away a stranger in need, so she got up and went to the door. When she opened it, her heart nearly stopped beating.

There, standing in the doorway, was Alice, clad in the most beautiful crystal-blue dress and at her side, a rather odd-looking fellow with wild, bright orange hair, an eccentric outfit, and a large top hat. In his arms was a tiny bundle, a baby girl with electric green eyes and a small tuft of strawberry blonde hair sticking out from beneath the blankets.

"Merry Christmas, mother. I thought you would like to meet your son-in-law and your new granddaughter, Roseanna Charlisse Hightopp."

Mama don't you worry about me

Don't you worry about me


	3. Whiskey Lullaby

**Author's Note:** This is probably the darkest story I've ever written before, and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Warning: This chapter contains character death and reference to alcohol abuse, so if you don't like that sort of thing, feel free to skip over this chapter. Once again, I don't own AiW or Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss's "Whiskey Lullaby". Also, please note that I DO NOT condone the use/abuse of alcohol or suicide. This is a STORY not advice!

**Whiskey Lullaby**

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget_

No. He had offered her a life in her crazy, mad, wonderful "Wonderland," and she had said no. No, no, no, no, NO! This was not how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to stay. She was supposed to come flying into his arms, nearly strangle him in a hug, and live happily ever after by his side. Perhaps it was too much for him to hope that she could ever truly love him the way he loved her, but couldn't they at least be friends? Didn't she care that she was breaking his heart? Didn't she realize that she would probably never see him again?

Perhaps that was the problem. Perhaps she wanted to get away. Perhaps the thought of being that close to him was too vulgar for her. Now that he thought about it, she had not even hugged him after he nearly escaped death at Salazen Grum. But she had fought for him, hadn't she? No, he reminded himself, she fought for Underland. She had told him all the best people were mad, hadn't she? Yes, but that was probably just because she didn't want to hurt his feelings. She had held his face in her hands, hadn't she? Yes, and she never touched him again after that. Was he truly that repulsive, he wondered?

The Hatter felt sick to his stomach. The butterflies had been replaced with an angry storm churning within him. He was confused and sad and angry and upset. He flew into a rage, eyes flashing from gold to red to blue. He was hurting. He was falling apart inside. Last time, Alice had been there to calm him, but this time there would be no Alice. This time, she was gone for good. And all he could do was fall to his knees and scream unintelligible words at the sky until he ran out of breath and sank to the ground in gasping sobs.

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind  
Until' the night_

For weeks the Hatter sat alone at the tea table, rain or shine, waiting for a girl who would never return. Why would she return when she thought he was just a dream? Dreams don't have feelings. Dreams cannot cry. Dreams cannot love. But dreams can haunt. He wondered, sometimes, if she thought of him as a nightmare…If he haunted her dreams the way she haunted his…

He became weaker and weaker. He refused food and drank only the tea that Mally and Thackery were kind enough to set before him. The tea used to help. It used to calm his nerves back when he worried about the Red Queen, when he had visions of his family burning in the flames of the Jabberwocky. It had made a difference back then. But now it seemed to have no effect on his madness. If anything, it made it worse. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of Alice. Alice's dress. Alice's smile. Alice's seat at the table. The teapot where he had hidden Alice from the red knights. He dashed the pot on the ground, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

"See there," he yelled at a chair that was empty. "You see tha'!" He pointed to the broken teapot. "Tha' is how Ah feel since yew left! Tha' is all tha's left o' meh!"

And in truth, it was. Since Alice had gone, he had become a hollow shell of the man he had once been. A fragile, hollow shell that had been used and abused. A broken man with a broken heart.

He wrapped his arms around his chest and began to rock back and forth. "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men, could nae put 'im together again." He muttered something about how stupid eggs should learn not to put themselves in such precarious situations. Humpty had once been a good friend of his, but sadly, no one could ever glue the egg back together, and so he remained a pile of broken shells and mush. [1]

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

He was giving up. The Hatter had fought off demons before, but this was simply too much for his broken heart and frazzled nerves to handle. He had reached the edge of his sanity, and he knew that he was barely hanging on. He could not bear the pain any longer.

His bandaged hands shook as he poured a vial of something black into the teacup. He lifted it to his lips and with his last breath thought of Alice.

_We found him with his face down in the pillow  
With a note that said, "I'll love her till I die"  
And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa  
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa

Mally and Thackery had been the first to find him. He was sitting slumped over in his favorite armchair, face down on the table, tears glistening on his alabaster cheeks. There was a teacup in one hand, a quickly scrawled note in other, which was clutched in a fist over his heart. On one side, the note has simply one word: Alice. The other read, "I shall love you until the end of Time." The tea was still warm when they laid him in the ground near the entrance to the room of doors. There, he would be closest to Alice.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself

News travels quickly when the messenger is an all-knowing butterfly. Regrettably, Absolem related the news of the Hatter's death to Alice. He knew she would not take it well, but it would not be fair for him to lie when she had asked how Tarrant was doing. He did not wish to tell her any more than necessary and decided to leave out the part about the letter. But Alice could not help but wonder. The Hatter she knew would never have done such a thing, even in his darkest hour. He had only changed after her departure. What else was there for him to mourn other than her loss? He should have been celebrating a victory over the Red Queen, not wasting away like he had nothing to live for. Now she wishes she had stayed, wishes she could take it all back. She told him she would return, did she not? But perhaps that had not been enough. Perhaps he had not believed her. Absolem tried to comfort her, but secretly, she continued to believe that she was at fault. She cried and cried, and for once, Absolem did not call her a "stupid girl" because he didn't know what to say.

_For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind  
Until' the night  
_

Alice had never been one to drink. She always thought it rather disgusting when a man who could not hold his liquor began flirting with her, which had happened multiple times since she had begun travelling amongst sailors. But tonight, she felt as though she might give the rum a try. She knew it was wrong…Knew it with every fiber of her being, but she gave in. And once she started she could not stop.

From time to time, the men on the ship would try to take advantage of her weakened state of judgment, but it always failed. Her morals were too strong for that. Besides, she only had eyes for one man, and that man had died long ago.

For years, she tried to hide her habit from her mother and sister, and for awhile, she succeeded. Then, one day, she was caught red-handed, but by then her mother had become severely ill, and Lowell had left Margaret for another woman, and Alice's whole world had been turned upside down. Lord Ascot had grown old and placed the entire company in Alice's hands, and all of this was just too much to handle.

So she made what she thought was the easiest decision. Not by any means the best, but the easiest.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees_

There was a moment of fear, a moment of hesitance, then an explosion. Then silence.

_We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life_

The servants came rushing to see what was wrong, but by the time they arrived, it was too late. They found her lying face down in the bed. In her left hand was a magnificent sketch of the strangest man any of them had ever seen.

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the Angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

Alice was laid to rest on the Ascot estate at the insistence of Lord Ascot, though much to the dismay of his wife and son. She was buried out past the rose garden in the shade of a large tree with a rabbit hole at the foot. She had loved to play there as a child, and Lord Ascot thought it fitting that she be buried there.

A simple headstone guarded on either side by tiny stone angels marked her grave.

_La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa  
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa_

Some say, if you look closely, on nights when the moon looks like the smile of a Cheshire cat, you may see two ghostly figures laughing and dancing in the moonlight.

_La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa__  
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa_

[1] This is a reference to the original _Alice in Wonderland_ by Lewis Carroll where Humpty Dumpty is mentioned and the poem is recited. In his deranged state, the Hatter recites "Humpty Dumpty" because he identifies with the egg, feeling like he has finally "cracked." Just like Humpty was stupid enough to sit on a ledge because he loved the view, Hatter feels like he was stupid for allowing the girl he loved to hold his heart when he knew it was likely to get broken .


	4. Just a Dream

**Author's Note:** Once again, I don't own Alice in Wonderland. "Just a Dream" belongs to Carrie Underwood. Also, I would like to point out that there is a YouTube video similar to my story. However, it is NOT the same. I had the idea before I saw the video, and I do not intend to steal others' ideas. Please also note that this chapter contains character death...sort of...but not really. It has a happy ending...but you'll just have to read it to find out the details ;) Enjoy!

**Just a Dream**

_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen  
All dressed in white  
Going to the church that night_

Alice's blonde curls bounced against her shoulders as she ran through the Ascot gardens. She couldn't wait to find that rabbit hole and jump in headfirst…On second thought, perhaps jumping in headfirst wasn't the best idea. The last thing she needed was a concussion on her wedding day! Of course, if she was completely honest, she probably shouldn't have been running in her wedding dress, either, but she was so excited that she could not force herself to slow down.

Though it was customary for the groom not to see the bride's dress until the wedding day, the Hatter had insisted on making Alice's gown. It was made of the finest Underlanian silk, which with a little help from Queen Mirana, was made to be affected by upulkechen and pisshalver, growing or shrinking to the appropriate size of the wearer. Though mostly white, it had a hint of "Alice blue," as Hatter liked to call it, here and there. The sash, for instance, was Alice blue, which perfectly matched the string of tiny "Absolems" flying across her veil and along the train. The ribbons for her hair were a mixture of blue and white, while the dress itself was the color of new fallen snow on Marmoreal. It was simple, yet elegant – just like Alice herself.

Finally, she reached the edge of the hole. She took a deep breath, smiled, and jumped in.

_She had his box of letters in the passenger seat  
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue_

The bandersnatch was waiting for her when she arrived, looking cleaner than she could ever remember. She could only imagine what the poor soul who had been assigned to bathe him must have gone through! But her pity was fleeting. She was too excited to be upset for very long. Grabbing a box of letters the Hatter had sent her over the past few years (sent via Absolem), she leapt up onto the bandersnatch and headed for the castle at Marmoreal as fast as the beast could carry her. Her hair was probably a mess by now, she realized, but she could worry about that later. Besides, she blushed, the Hatter would think she was beautiful regardless.

Upon arriving at the castle, she practically ran up the stairs, past the throne room, and out onto a large balcony where she expected to find Mirana, McTwisp, Hatter, and the others waiting for her, but what she saw instead took her breath away.

_And when the church doors opened up wide  
She put her veil down  
Trying to hide the tears  
Oh she just couldn't believe it  
She heard trumpets from the military band  
And the flowers fell out of her hand_

The box of letters in her hand fell to the ground. Mirana and Mally were crying. Chess wasn't sporting his usual grin. The Tweedles were hugging each other like their life depended on it, and Thackery was cradling his beloved spoon, speaking softly to it as though it was a child that needed comforting. McTwisp looked like he would pass out any minute (though that was rather normal), and Absolem sat perched upon a large wooden casket. She wondered who it could have been to make them so upset. None of her friends were missing except…No! NO! It couldn't be…Alice felt her blood run cold.

"Wh-where is Hatter?" She glanced from one set of eyes to another, finding nothing but sorrow and pity. She swallowed back the lump that was in her throat. This was not the answer she had hoped for.

Nivens gulped. "W-well, y-you see, Alice, while you were gone, the Red Queen escaped exile. We didn't worry too much because the Oraculum foretold of her defeat after Underland's Champion returned. Absolem told him to wait for your return so he could fight by your side, but of course, he wouldn't put you in any danger, so h-he lead a rebellion without you…The Red Queen was defeated – for good, this time – but not before she-she…" He was hyperventilating again, and looked as though he would faint again, but Alice had to know. She grabbed him by the collar of his suit.

"WHERE. IS. HATTER?" The poor rabbit was shaking, and she immediately felt sorry for scaring him. She released her grip on his collar and stroked his head. "Please, McTwisp," she whispered. "I have to know what happened."

The white rabbit shook his head sadly. "His Time ran out, Alice. He's gone."

And for once, Alice was the one who fainted.

Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream

When she opened her eyes and tried to stand, her legs felt weak beneath her. Surely, she had hit her head on something. Surely, it had all been nothing but a feverish nightmare. The Hatter could not be dead. It was to be their wedding day! But when she looked over at her friends, the expressions on the faces had not changed. And the coffin had not disappeared.

Alice ran to Mirana, threw her arms around her neck, and cried for what seemed like hours. As a queen, she knew she should not allow such behavior, but as a friend, she knew she had to. And being a friend took precedence over being a queen for the time being.

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt

Absolem, who would have been the one to marry the Champion and the Hatter, now lead a prayer at his funeral. He prayed for the soul of the friend they had lost. He prayed for Hightopp Clan, now left without a single heir. He prayed for Tarrant's friends and customers throughout Underland. He prayed for the queen. But most of all, he prayed for the brave girl who had nearly faced death for Underland and who now faced the death of the only man she'd ever loved and her best friend.

_Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard_

After the prayer, Mirana led the group in a traditional Underlanian song. It was a Hightopp song, generally meant to be sung to a tune on the bagpipes, and though the all the best bagpipe players were Hightopps, McTwisp tried his best to play the tune on one of Tarrant's old instruments. It was a strange song with ancient Outlandish words that Alice did not understand, but somehow, it didn't matter that she did not know the words. The music spoke for itself with winding notes that painted figures in her mind. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine that it was Tarrant playing the tune instead of listening with deaf ears inside the casket. It was undoubtedly the most beautiful and the most melancholy song that she had ever heard.

_Then they handed her a folded up flag  
And she held on to all she had left of him  
Oh, and what could have been_

As the song came to a close, Chessur appeared in front of her holding Tarrant's magnificent top hat. "He would have wanted you to have this, love."

Alice could barely contain her tears. Chess was giving up the hat? Now, she knew it must be real, for the Hatter would never go anywhere without it, and Chess would not normally give it away so frivolously. She ran her fingers gently across its silken surface. "It was his favorite thing," she whispered.

"Second favorite," Chess corrected. Seeing her puzzled expression, he offered a small grin. "You were the first, love. Always you."

_And then the guns rang one last shot  
And it felt like a bullet in her heart_

The white knights fired a volley of shots in honor of the fallen warrior. Though not a true soldier, such as the knights, he had loyally served the White Queen as a part-time hatter, part-time warrior, and a full-time friend and confident throughout his life. He deserved a proper military salute.

But with each shot fired, Alice felt a little piece of her heart die. She imagined the blade of the executioner coming down upon the neck of her beloved Hatter, and she was nearly sick with grief and anger. Why hadn't they told her of the trouble until now? Why hadn't he written her asking for help? But Alice knew she could never blame her friends. They would have done anything to help him. And Iracebeth was gone, so blaming her didn't do any good. The only one left to blame was herself. If only she had arrived sooner…But then again, it didn't really matter who was at fault because no amount of blame or regret could ever bring him back. She kneeled down beside the coffin and laid her head against the cold oak frame that forever barred her from the man she loved. Then she closed her eyes and let the tears flow.

Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream

She thought back to a much different balcony scene a few years ago.

"_**You still believe this all a dream, don't you?"**_

"_**Yes, of course, you're just a figment of my imagination. I would dream up someone who's half-mad."**_

"_**Yes, yes. But that would mean you would have be half-mad to dream me up."**_

"_**It must be then…I'll miss you when I wake up."**_

Oh,  
Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
Oh, now I'll never know  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream

"Alice…Alice, wake up!"

Oh, this is just a dream

Someone was shaking her. "Wake up, Alice," the voice lisped. Wait…lisped? Hatter! Alice's eyes snapped open to see the Hatter staring down at her worriedly. She looked around, confused to find herself in a pile of wedding books and papers in the castle library.

"H-Hatter?"

"You know, Alice, you oughtn't cry so much. Why, if you keep it up, you may very well drown yourself, [1] and that wouldn't be very good if you drowned today because we are to be married tomorrow, and I can't be married without an Alice. Not that it would be good if you ever drowned because then you wouldn't be alive and then that would be very bad indeed and – "

"Oh, Hatter!" Alice laughed and threw her arms around her husband-to-be. "I was so worried."

The Hatter frowned. "Worried about what? You weren't having second thoughts about the wedding, were you? B-because I would completely understand if you did, but I-"

She placed a finger over his lips. "No, Hatter, I was not having second thoughts. I just…had a bad dream."

"But I heard you say my name when you were asleep. Were you having a bad dream about me, Alice?"

Alice regarded his question thoughtfully, careful in how she would answer. Then, she smiled. "How silly, how can one have a bad dream about someone when that person is merely a dream himself? Don't you understand, Hatter? You are a dream!"

The Hatter looked slightly troubled and hurt. Was she beginning to doubt the reality of Underland again?

She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek before he could respond. "You are a crazy, mad, wonderful dream come true."

_Just a dream  
Yeah, Yeah_

[1] This is a reference to the original _Alice in Wonderland_ in which the girl Alice (who is very large after eating some of the cake) cries so much that when she shrinks again, she nearly drowns in her own tears.


	5. Let My People Go

**Author's Note: **Guess what? I STILL don't own Alice in Wonderland! (Real shocker, huh?) And I do not own "Let My People Go" (also called "The Plagues") from the movie The Prince of Egypt. I took a few liberties with this song...I left out pretty much all of the chorus to simplify things, but you should really listen to the song to get the full effect. Also, you should note that the part in **bold is Mirana** and the part that is underlined is Iracebeth. The part of the song at the end where it is **bold and underlined represents both queens**. So, there you have it! Please R & R and enjoy!

**Let My People Go**

Queen Mirana tossed and turned in her bed. She could not sleep, for tomorrow was the day she would face her sister in battle. Of course, being royalty, they would not actually participate in the fighting, but still…so many lives were at stake. So many would be killed or injured…all because of a silly fight for the crown.

Personally, Mirana did not so much mind that her sister wanted to be queen. It was the way that she had gone about taking the crown and abusing her power that disturbed the White Queen. In a single day, Iracebeth had wiped out almost an entire clan because of her selfish desire for the crown. And now countless citizens of Underland were being beheaded simply because they were not to the Red Queen's liking. Hatter had never been the same after Iracebeth began to rule, and Alice was caught up in a fight that was not her own. It wasn't fair to place so many people in the middle of a fight that was really just between two sisters.

Had she not made a vow to avoid harming any living creature, she would have gladly taken up a sword against her sister. But as things were, she had made the vow, and she could not go back on her word. Stupid royal protocol…Still, she highly doubted that even if she were able to fight Iracebeth, she could ever bring herself to actually kill her. Injur her, perhaps, but not kill her. For when the White Queen looked at the "Bloody Big Head" she could still see a trace of Racy, her quick-tempered but loving and protective big sister, hiding deep down in there. And perhaps, Mirana mused, it was that trace of Racy, that tiny shred of humanity left in her sister, that had kept her thus far banished to Marmoreal instead of being beheaded herself. She had often wondered what had stopped Racy from fighting and killing her…It certainly wasn't her duty to royal protocol! Perhaps it was simply a love for her sister…Perhaps she could still convince her not to fight…

The queen rose from the bed and began to dig through the papers on her desk. At least if she couldn't sleep, she could get some papers organized. She had been going through the mass of royal decrees, laws, and statutes for nearly two hours when, nearing the bottom of the stack, she found a tiny scrap of red paper. That was odd…Everything in Marmoreal was usually white…Curiously, she pulled the slip of paper from the stack.

It was cut in the shape of a heart and had two stick figures holding hands and smiling at one another. Mirana remembered the day she had received the "card" from her sister quite vividly. It had all started with a new toy…

**Once I called you sister  
Once I thought the chance  
to make you laugh  
Was all I ever wanted...**

The girls had been quite young at the time. Mirana had been five and Iracebeth was seven. The king and queen had just presented them with a new set of checkers. Being children of the crown, they would one day need to understand the more complex games of chess, which the royal guard was somewhat based upon, but checkers was always a good way to get started. The two sisters could not have been more excited about their new toy – for that's all it was to them, a game – and they immediately sat down to play as soon as their father had given them the basic instructions. Little did they know that it would one day be their armies facing one another in battle.

Naturally, Racy had chosen the red checkers, and Mirana had been left with the black. Black was not her favorite color – in fact, it was probably her least favorite, and when you really got down to it, black wasn't even a color. It was the _absence_ of color. The complete void of light. White, on the other hand, was a mixture of all the colors living together in harmony. White was her favorite color, but she tolerated the black pieces to please her sister.

In the end, Mirana had won the game and was extremely excited that she had beater her older, more educated sister. Mirana had assumed her sister would share in her joy, after all it was only a game. "Look, Racy! Look! I won! I won! Aren't you pwoud of me?"

But she had assumed wrong. Iracebeth's face became as red as a tomato. "NO!" She flipped over the table, causing checkers to go flying in all directions. "It is my game because I am the eldest, so we play by MY rules, and by MY rules, I WON!"

Mirana looked like she wanted to cry. "But Mommy and Daddy said we're 'posed to share it."

"It is MY game! I AM THE ELDEST!"

Mirana knew she had rightfully won, but she knew better than to anger her sister. "Okay, Racy…We don't hafta fight…"

After cooling down a little, Iracebeth felt bad about making her sister upset, so she'd made an apology card for Mirana.

"See Miwana," she pointed to the stick figures. "That's you, and that one's me." She frowned. "I'm sowwy I hurt your feelings. I just weally wanted to win."

Mirana hugged her sister. "Dat's okay. You're still my sister. Racy, we'll always be sisters, right?"

"Wight."

"And we'll always wuv each other, right?"

"Wight." [1]**And even now I wish that God  
had chose another  
Serving as your foe on His behalf  
Is the last thing that I wanted...**

Mirana brushed a tear from her cheek. She hated the idea of fighting, especially fighting with her sister. But in her heart of hearts, she knew that it would be impossible to stop the red reign of terror without a battle. Iracebeth was not one to listen to reason, and once she had her mind set on something, nothing could stand in her way. Mirana desperately wished that she was not the one leading the white army against the red soldiers. True, Alice would be her fighting Champion, but she would be the one who decided her sister's fate if they won. She would be the one Racy held responsible for her loss. And she would be the one to bear the burden of her sister's wrath if they lost. If Iracebeth had her way, it would be a battle to the death – the death of Alice, the death of the Hatter, and quite likely, the death of the White Queen herself. They could not afford to lose…But Alice had not yet agreed to fight, and without Alice, it seemed unlikely that they could win…Still, she would not force her hand in the decision.

The queen sighed. "Oh, Racy, why must you be so stubborn?"

**This was my home  
All this pain and devastation  
How it tortures me inside  
All the innocent who suffer  
From your stubbornness and pride…**

The queen glided over to the balcony and looked out across the fields. With the help of her telescope, she could just barely make out the shape of the castle at Salazen Grum against the moonlit horizon. Just a few years ago, she had called Salazen Grum home. Just a few years ago, she had ruled the land as a just and righteous queen with her sister at her side. And now…Now, the moat ran red with the blood of the slain…Now the music of the Hightopp festivities was replaced with the cries of those who mourn the loss of their friends, the garbled Outlandish screams of a haunted Hatter, and the deathly silence of a lost clan. Now the one she had once called her sister and best friend was her sworn enemy.**You who I called sister  
Why must you call down another blow?**_  
_

How many more lives had to be lost before Iracebeth would come to her senses, Mirana wondered. One, she thought. Just one…But when that "one" happens to be your big sister, it complicates things. Was it terribly selfish, she wondered, for her to wish to keep her sister alive even if it possibly meant the death of more innocent citizens? Yes, she decided. Yes, it was selfish. Yes, it was wrong…but wasn't it also wrong to hate your own flesh and blood? Wasn't it also wrong to fight?

**Let my people go**_  
_**Thus saith the Lord**

No matter what happened, the citizens of Underland were counting on her to bring the tyrannical rule of her sister to an end, and end it she would. If Alice did not step up as Champion, she decided, she would take charge of the matter herself, vow or no vow. For if Alice did not fight, they could not slay the Jabberwocky, and if they could not slay the Jabberwocky, it seemed highly unlikely that they would win. Only Alice, it seemed, could safely face down the monstrous dragon…and even then her safety was not guaranteed. So if Alice did not fight, whoever took her place would likely die. And the White Queen refused to be the cause of any more death. If she had to kill the Jabberwocky to restore order and freedom to Underland, then she would do it…or die trying. And if she had to kill Racy…Well, she would only do that if she absolutely had no other choice…But if it meant sparing the lives of the innocent or sparing the life of her sister, wouldn't she be guilty of greater bloodshed if she stood by and let her sister continue to rule?You who I called sister  
How could you have come to hate me so?  
Is this what you wanted?

Far away, on the other side of Underland in Salazen Grum, the Red Queen was having trouble sleeping, too. But not out of guilt…at least, not that she would admit. She was simply worried that her darling Jabber-baby-wocky might be slain by that irritating little golden-haired brat called Alice…or more recently, "Um."

How could Mirana do this to her? They were sisters! Blood-relatives! Why couldn't her sister just realize that the crown should rightfully go to her, since she was the eldest? Why is it that everyone always like Mirana so much better than her? It was better to be feared than to be loved, wasn't it? And even so, she had Stayne, didn't she…So, in truth, she had the best of both worlds…So why didn't she feel like it? Why did she doubt her decision to go up against her little sister? Why hadn't she just done away with her like everyone else who got on her nerves?

_Because she's your sister_, came the reply.

Iracebeth held the white chess piece that represented the queen in her hand. She remembered how they used to play games and laugh and make mischief – which usually consisted of her causing trouble and placing the blame on Mirana. Nevertheless, Mirana had never complained, had taken the punishment for her…Once or twice, when their parents had been especially upset, Mirana had even taken the blame voluntarily for an accident for which Iracebeth was truly the one at fault. And for a brief instant, she felt like Racy again instead of Iracebeth of Crims, the Bloody Big Head.

Then let my heart be hardened  
And never mind how high the cost may grow  
This will still be so:  
I will never let your people go...But then she remembered how Mirana had always beaten her in their games…checkers, cards, chess…It didn't matter what the game, she was always the better one, always the smarter one, always the favorite. And when it came time for their parents to pass the crown, they had chosen Mirana instead of her…and that had sent her off the edge.

"NO!" she screeched, flinging the chess piece into the fire. "IT IS MY CWOWN! I should be the one weawing that cwown because I AM THE ELDEST!" She took a ragged breath, then spoke through clenched teeth at the smoldering chess piece. "You want a war, little sister? I'll show you war! I will burn down evewy village, I will destwoy evewy soldier, and I will get wid of Alice or you or anyone else who stands between me and that cwown, and I won't stop until I get it!"**Thus saith the Lord:**_  
_  
I will not..._  
_**Let your (my) people go!**

Across the land, two very different queens with two very different wishes stared up at the same star in the night sky – the very star which they had wished on as children. One sister wished for power and fear, the other wished for peace and an end to all the fighting. They could not both receive their wishes, they knew. All wars have one winner and one loser, and the crown could only go to one sister. But secretly, in a wish they would not even tell the magic wishing star, both wished that they could just go back to being Miwana and Racy.

[1] This is a play on the scene from _The Lion King_ where Simba asks Mufasa, "Dad, we're pals, right? And we'll always be together, right?"


	6. I Hope You Find It

**Author's Note:** I don't own Alice in Wonderland or Miley Cyrus' song, "I Hope You Find It". Please R&R and enjoy the story!

**I Hope You Find It**

_These clouds aren't going nowhere, baby  
Rain keeps coming down_

The skies of Underland were a dreary, dull gray. The rain had started shortly after Alice left – as if Underland herself was mourning the loss of her Champion – and the victorious White Queen and her loyal subjects were forced to return hastily to the castle at Marmoreal.

But not the Hatter. When the queen had invited him to become the Royal Hatter once again, he had quietly declined and trudged through the rain back to his tea table. It was a long, wet journey, but the Hatter didn't care. It gave him time to think…He knew how the sky must feel. She had only been gone for a few hours, but already his heart ached for the woman who had slain the Jabberwocky and stolen his heart. He muttered quietly to himself in some long-forgotten tongue of the Outlanders, mentally kicking himself for not telling her how he truly felt. Not that she would have returned the feelings, he supposed…but perhaps she would have stayed if she knew how much she meant to him, meant to all of Underland. She was more than just the Champion. She was their friend. And she was the only one who had never shown fear at one of his outbursts of madness. In fact, she had told him that all the best people were mad! That must mean that she thought rather highly of him, if not as a soul mate, then at least as a friend, right? Surely if he had told her how he felt she would have stayed…but there was so much that he had not said, and it was too late to go back and change things now. Time was a rather tricky fellow, and he always moved forward, never back. Not even for the queen, much less a lowly hatter. But did he really want her to stay in Underland if she was not happy? He shook his head. No, it would never do to have an unhappy Alice. It broke his heart for him to watch her leave, but it would be utterly unbearable for him to watch her live a life in Underland with him if she was not happy there.

He collapsed into his armchair at the tea table, sopping wet and dog-tired from the journey. He removed his beloved top hat, which had thus far somewhat shielded his eyes from the rain, and turned his face to the sky, allowing the cool droplets to slide down his cheeks so no one could see the tears that he'd been holding back since the moment she disappeared.

_I just thought I'd try to call you, baby  
'Fore you got too far outta town_

He remained that way for hours – or perhaps it was days, the Hatter wasn't sure – eyes closed, looking blindly toward the thin veil that separated Alice's world from his own, until at last he fell asleep.

He woke with a start, feeling unusually refreshed despite the fact that his clothes still clung to him and his hair was matted and frightfully frizzy from the rain, which had finally given way to the sunshine that now caressed his face like a loving mother trying to comfort her child. He wasn't quite sure what had disturbed his sleep until his eyes came into focus and saw a strangely familiar blue butterfly perched on his nose, staring at him with a rather unpleasant expression.

"Why, hello, Absolem!" He nearly crossed his eyes trying to focus on the butterfly, and he giggled madly as he imagined how ridiculous he must look. "What brings you to my lovely tea table this afternoon? Would you like some tea?"

Absolem fluttered off the Hatter's face and sat down on the edge of one of the tea cups nearest the mad milliner. "Stupid Hatter, did you really think that I would leave the Oraculum unguarded simply so I might enjoy a cup of tea?"

The Hatter looked slightly offended, his eyes turning a light gold before he calmed himself. Sometimes he really wanted to squash that annoying know-it-all little bug. "Well, if ye di' nae come fer tea, why are yew here?"

The butterfly was unfazed by the Hatter's brogue. He had a message to deliver, and no amount of the Hatter's madness would deter him. "I bring news of Alice. I thought you might like to be the first one to know."

The Hatter brightened, his eyes becoming a vibrant green and his bowtie perking up of its own accord. "You have heard from Alice? H-how is she? Is she well? Does she remember us? Did she say anything about…me?" There was a childlike anticipation in his eyes, like little boy waiting to open presents on Christmas morning, desperately hoping that Father Christmas had received his letter.

Absolem smiled knowingly and allowed himself a slight chuckle. "One question at a time, my mad friend! Yes, Alice is well. She is preparing to leave on a journey to a place in Overland called China to expand her father's trading company. She is terribly excited, but she has not forgotten her promise to return to Underland when she arrives home from the trip. She misses you, Tarrant, and she asked that I give you her kindest regards."

The Hatter grinned wildly. She actually remembered him? And she missed him? What splendid news!

_And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you  
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to  
_

A sudden thought came to the Hatter's mind. "Absolem, will you be travelling to China with Alice?"

"Someone must guard the Oraculum, Tarrant." He noticed the Hatter frown. "However, I do plan to check in on her from time to time. There is a looking-glass aboard the vessel in her room, and I shall use it to communicate with her every now and then."

Tarrant wondered how efficiently a little butterfly could "guard" the Oraculum but decided not to voice his opinion and instead chose to ask a question that had been plaguing his mind. "Could you take a letter to her from me on your next visit?"

Absolem sighed. He hated being stuck as the messenger...Ever since he'd sprouted wings, he was constantly being sent all over the kingdom. Now he knew why McTwisp was always in such a rush. Nevertheless, the Hatter was a loyal subject and protector of the queen, and Alice was the Champion… "Leave the letter in the Room of Doors, and I shall see that Alice receives it." He turned to fly away but stopped suddenly to look back over his shoulder. "But don't think that this shall become a regular habit of mine. I shall bring you news of Alice whenever I hear from her, but I WILL NOT be carrying letters back and forth between the two worlds, understand?"

The Hatter nodded vigorously before waving goodbye to his insect friend and hurrying inside to find a pen and some parchment. His hand shook as he dipped the quill into the ink and prepared to pour out his heart on the paper before him.

_And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more_

My Dearest Alice,

I do hope you are having a wonderful time in Overland. Absolem tells me that you are headed to a place called Cheyenuh to expand your father's trading business. Do they have tea there? I should hope they have tea because all the best places in the world must have tea, you know! And it must be one of the best places in the world if you are visiting there because all the best places are Alice places and – Oh, forgive me…I am rambling again.

You see, the real reason that I am sending this letter is because I did not tell you everything that I wanted to before you left…Since you first came to Underland as a child I have enjoyed your company. When you first arrived, you reminded me much of my younger sister, Rose…You would have gotten along well with her, I think. I meant to introduce you to her, but you left so quickly I did not have the chance…Now, after the Jabberwocky, I suppose you never will…But I digress. What I mean to say is that, though I have always been fond of you, on your last visit, I developed a closer friendship with you than I have ever felt before, and it took quite some Time for me to realize it, but I was too afraid to tell you when you left…I love you, Alice Kingsleigh. I know that I am just a Hatter, and you are our Champion, so there is really no way that you could possibly feel the same, but I miss you, Alice. I wish you would have stayed. I wish that when you come back, you would stay forever with us…with me…

But I understand if you wish to remain Above. Alice, even if I never see you again, I want you to know that I wish the very best for you in all that you do. I hope that Cheyenuh is more beautiful and wonderful than you imagine it and you are successful in your venture to expand the company. Your family must be very proud to know to someone with so much muchness as yourself. I know I am.

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
And I hope you find it

I do not know where Cheyenuh is, Alice, but wherever you go, whatever you do, please do not forget that we in Underland will always be grateful for what you have done for us, and you will always be our Champion and our friend.

Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?  
Last words that I said  
But that was nothing but a broken heart talkin', baby  
You know that wasn't what I meant  
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you  
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

Alice, from the moment you first came to Underland, we all knew that you were special. We didn't know how much you would end up meaning to us – with the possible exception of Absolem, of course, since he has the Oraculum, you know – but when the Red Queen took over and we realized that you would be the one to free us from her reign, we waited – rather impatiently, I might add – for your return. Every day I sat at that tea table, day and night, rain or shine, waiting for you…and it seemed like you would never return. Sometimes I went mad from all the waiting. I became frustrated and wondered if you even cared about us or remembered us. But you did come back, and once you remembered us, you did care about us again and you saved us…and then you left us again…Alice, I know that you may never come back, but if you do, know that I will still be waiting for you when you get here. As a friend or as something more if you so desire it. I will always be waiting for you. I hope you find whatever it is that you are looking for in Cheyenuh and all of your dreams come true. I remain…

Yours Always,

Tarrant Hightopp, the Mad Hatter

And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
And I hope you find it  
Whatever it is out there that you were missing here

Alice Kingsleigh was in her room aboard _The Wonder_ studying charts and maps when she felt the flutter of butterfly wings brush against her cheek. She looked up from her work and smiled, glad to see her Underlanian friend. "Hello, Absolem."

The butterfly returned her smile. "Hello, stupid girl."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Must you always call me that?"

"Think of it as a pet name, child."

Alice simply shook her head. "How is everyone in Underland?"

"They are doing well, Alice. Since the White Queen regained the throne, things have been much better than before. Thackery has come to work in the queen's kitchen, and Mallyumpkin is training the royal guards in swordsmanship. Bayard and Bielle are expecting another litter of pups soon, and the Bandersnatch has taken up guarding the palace."

"And the Hatter?"

"Tarrant is still at his tea table, waiting."

"Waiting for what?" she asked curiously.

"For you, stupid girl." The cerulean butterfly nodded toward the base of the looking glass where an envelope lay on the floor. "He asked me to deliver that to you. Now, if you will excuse me, I must be going." He fluttered over to the mirror.

"Absolem, wait!"

But he was already back on the other side of the glass before she could finish. "Fairfarren, Alice."

She bent down to pick up the letter, golden curls cascading down into her face. "Curiouser and curiouser," she mused.

She took the letter back over to the table and sat down to open it. When she did, her breath caught in her throat. 

And I hope you find it,  
What you're looking for  
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be  
And so much more

Alice snatched up a pen and began scrawling out a messy, hastily written letter. She quickly signed the paper and shoved it into an envelope, leaving it on her desk where it would be easily found. She waited until they made port that afternoon so as not to be too suspicious, then took a deep breath, tilted the looking-glass so that it leaned precariously toward her, then let it drop over her head. As Alice stepped into another realm, she faintly heard the sound of glass shattering, and she smiled. There was no turning back now.

And I hope you're happy wherever you are  
I wanted you to know that  
And nothing's gonna change that  
No, no, no  
And I hope you find it  
I hope you find it  
Mmm,  
Ooh.

Lord Ascot handed the letter to Helen Kingsleigh, a slight smile playing on his lips. The widow carefully unfolded the paper and immediately felt tears spring to her eyes, but there was a smile on her face

Dear Lord Ascot and my darling Mother,

I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies for departing on such short notice, but I have found what I am looking for, and he is everything I could have ever dreamed of and so much more. I hope that our venture to China was not in vain, and I trust that the company will continue to thrive under the leadership of Lord Ascot, just as it did before. Though no one can ever replace my father, I have come to think of you as such over the past few months. Mother, I cannot tell you my exact location, lest you think I'd gone rather mad, but I can tell you that I am happier than I have ever been.

Your Loving Daughter Forever,

Alice Kingsleigh


	7. Every Day

**Author's Note:** Alice in Wonderland is not mine. It never has and it never will be. The song "Every Day" belongs to Rascal Flatts. Also, the idea of what Hatter means by "crowded" was inspired by a work on deviantArt, so I can't take credit for that, either. Please R&R.

P.S. - If anyone would like to make YouTube videos to go along with my series of AiW songfics, I will love you forever!

**Every Day**

_You could've bowed out gracefully  
But you didn't  
You knew enough to know  
To leave well enough alone  
But you wouldn't_

The Hatter could not believe his ears. She was staying! She was actually going to stay in Underland! It would have been so easy for her to say no, to drink the vile violet liquid and go back to her own world where she didn't have to fight Jabberwockies or tame Bandersnatches or put up with someone who was, quite literally, the epitome of the term "mad as a hatter." But she had decided to stay. He had been so excited at the time, that he'd nearly futterwhackened all the way back to the castle with her!

But now that he thought about it, perhaps she should have gone home. He was overjoyed that she had stayed, of course, but perhaps it had been rather selfish of him to ask her to stay…to stay and marry a mad man she had only been acquainted with for a few days, leaving all of her family and friends Above behind. Yes, it had been awfully selfish, he concluded. But she had said yes, and he was not about to complain!

He smiled as he worked on yet another hat and glanced over at his wife's sleeping form on the bed, then frowned. She looked so pure, so innocent as she lay there curled up beneath the sheets, golden curls draped over her shoulders like a warm blanket. She was good and kind and wonderful, untarnished by the ways of the world. And he was not. He was mad and temperamental and scarred, hands stained with mercury and the blood of his clan that he had failed to save. And he could be dangerous. Sometimes he would fly into a rage and be completely unaware of what was going on around him. If he wasn't careful, he could very easily hurt her. She was playing with fire – fire and a whole armory of explosives – which she knew could burn her at any moment, but even on his maddest days, she was always by his side.

_I drive myself crazy  
Tryin' to stay out of my own way  
The messes that I make  
But my secrets are so safe  
The only one who gets me  
Yeah, you get me  
It's amazing to me_

The Hatter's mind was always a scattered mess – a cluttered closet filled with thoughts of tea and hats and flying saucers. (No, not the kind filled with little green men. He giggled. He had never understood why Overlanders believed in people from another planet riding a giant dish. Even in Underland, that seemed absurd. No, the only flying saucers that he was worried about were the ones the March Hare like to throw at him.) He shook his head and tried to focus on the hat he was working on. That was the problem with being mad…He tended to be easily distracted, and his thoughts were rarely coherent, especially when he was around Alice…

His heart still fluttered excitedly when he thought of her even though they had been married for more than a year. Sometimes he didn't know if she was helping his madness or driving him further into the most blissful insanity he'd ever experienced. Sometimes he wondered whether he might be the one dreaming and she was the dream, for it was still hard for him to believe that she willingly stayed…Even when he went mad…Even when he turned the tables upside-down, smashed teapots, and destroyed his hats…Even when she came home to a room as chaotic and confused as his own muddled mind…Even when his eyes turned to fire and the ghosts of the Hightopp clan crowded his thoughts, she stayed. 

How every day  
Every day, every day  
You save my life

She was the only thing that kept him going when he felt like giving up. She was his strength when he felt as though he had none. She was the little stubborn ray of sunshine that still managed to break through the clouds even when he felt like the world was collapsing around him. She was his angel, and he thanked God every day that she had come into his life.

_I come around all broken down and  
Crowded out  
And you're comfort_

He remembered one day a few months after they had been married on the anniversary of the Horvendush Day when he had completely lost it. With the White Queen back in power, they were finally able to have a memorial service for the fallen heroes and the lost clan of Underland. He had made it through the service without flinching, but that night, he was plagued with dreams. Horrible nightmares of that terrible, terrible day that he had hoped never to relive…

…And he could feel the heat of the purple flames, smell the smoke as the fire devoured his home and his family, its long, gray tongue licking the sky. He was choking, crying…He couldn't breathe and he couldn't see, but he could hear the screams of his family echoing in the dark recesses of his mind, could see a million imaginary hands pointing accusing fingers in his direction. He was haunted by their howling cries, smothered by the ghosts that constantly clung to him, begging for his help…just like he had felt that day in the Red Queen's castle…

"I'm frightened, Alice. I don't like it in here. It's terribly crowded."

But she had been there to wake him up. She had been there when he had curled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth to calm himself. She had been there when he had mumbled and screamed and raved. And she had been there when finally, tired and frustrated, he had broken down into sobs. She had held him in her arms and stroked his hair and told him it would be okay. And when the morning came, she had not disappeared.

_Sometimes the place I go  
Is so deep and dark and desperate  
I don't know, I don't know_

_How every day  
Every day, every day  
You save my life_

Sometimes he felt like just giving up. Sometimes he would go so deep into madness, he thought he would never escape. But somehow she always managed to pull him back to reality. Somehow she always found that one thread of sanity he had left and wove it back into place. Somehow she always managed to save him from himself.

_Sometimes I swear, I don't know if  
I'm comin' or goin'  
But you always say something  
Without even knowin'  
That I'm hangin' on to your words  
With all of my might and it's alright  
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night_

The simplest things could set him off…a memory, a moment of anger, a sudden fear…The Hatter's heart was fragile, and he used the madness as a wall to hide behind when he felt weak and expose…but just as he could easily descend into madness, Alice could bring him back without even trying. A touch of the hand, look of concern, a radiant smile or a gentle kiss. That was all it took to make him realize he didn't have to hide. He didn't need to run from his feelings because she would be there to share them with him, to help bear his burden and lift his spirits, to make him laugh when he felt like crying and to make his heart sing with joy even if life's music was dreary. Sometimes she could say or do something that just made his day wonderful without even realizing the significance of her actions. That was just the way Alice was. And he loved her with all of his heart.

_Every day  
Every day, every day, every day  
Every day, every day  
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh  
Every day  
Every, every, every day-_

The Hatter turned as he heard Alice stirring. He smiled and walked over to the edge of the bed, bending down slightly so he was closer to her level. The sunlight was just beginning to come through the curtains and illuminated her golden curls so that it looked as if she was wearing a halo. Alice smiled in her sleep and snuggled deeper beneath covers. The Hatter smiled and lowered his lips to hers in a soft kiss. He laid the hat he'd been making for her on the nightstand and walked quietly to the door, glancing back over his shoulder briefly.

"Sweet dreams, Alice."

Every day you save my life


	8. I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

**Author's Note:** Pssst...Wanna know something? I STILL DO NOT OWN Alice in Wonderland! Nor do I own REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore." Please R&R and enjoy!

**I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore**

_I can't fight this feeling any longer  
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow  
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger  
I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

Alice Kingsleigh stood aboard the deck of _The Wonder_, staring out at the open sea. Trading with China had been a bigger success than even she had believed possible. The locals had been very hospitable, and now they were returning to London with a ship filled to the brim with rich silks, foreign spices, and several new flavors of tea previously unknown to the English world. Alice smiled. The Hatter would have loved China. In fact, she had set aside quite a few bags of the Oriental tea for her mad friend, and she couldn't wait to see his face when she returned to Underland with an armload of various teas for him to try! It would be like watching a child on Christmas morning!

Of course, carrying such precious goods aboard their ship, they were bound to come across pirates sooner or later, but Alice was ready for them. When the pirates attacked, the captain had immediately ordered her to remain in her cabin, but of course, being the stubborn, headstrong girl that she was, she had joined the crew in battle anyway. One or two of the pirates had laughed and made some rather inappropriate remarks about her before attempting to take her along with the rest of the ship's goods. But Alice was NOT just another damsel in distress, and she would NOT be treated like a prize to be won. She came up fighting with all the ferocity and courage of a cornered lioness, sword flashing, eyes gleaming with the confidence and muchness of a Champion. After slaying a Jabberwocky, fighting a few pirates was nothing. In the end, the pirates were sent packing with their tail between their legs and more than a few large holes blow into the side of their ship. She smirked. What would her mother think if she knew of such things? What would the Hatter think? She wouldn't be able to tell her mother of her adventures without frightening her, but she was definitely going to tell the Hatter…

And there was something else she wanted to tell him, too. Something that had been bothering her for quite some time now. Ever since she'd left Underland, she'd felt a strange void in her heart, a yearning like she'd never experienced before. It was as though a part of her had simply gone dormant…Something was missing, but she wasn't quite sure what it was. And then she knew…She was in love with the Hatter.

Now the big question: If she was courageous enough to face the Jabberwocky and a whole ship full of pirates, then why was she so afraid of telling the Hatter how she felt?

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever  
I said there is no reason for my fear  
Cause I feel so secure when we're together  
You give my life direction  
You make everything so clear

The Hatter may have believed that he was the one who needed Alice, but in her heart, she knew that she needed him just as much. Throughout her last visit to Underland, he was the only one who had believed in her without any doubts or misgivings. He had helped her find her muchness and risked his own life to save hers, and had he not interfered in her fight with the Jabberwocky, she probably would not have survived. The Oraculum had not foretold of such an interference, and the queens had specifically told their subjects not to disrupt the fight between the Champions. But Hatter did it anyway...Maybe that was why she liked him so much. Just like her, he was not afraid to stray from the path foretold. He acted from the heart, not because a silly piece of paper or someone in higher authority told him to do something. And if she had just been a Champion to him, she asked herself, would he have interfered? Champions are supposed to be the protectors, not the ones needing protection. No, in the heat of battle, one would not risk interfering between two Champions if they feared for their own lives. The Hatter's action had been instinct – the instinct to protect the one he loved…

Did he actually love her, she wondered? Soon enough she would be home to find out for herself, but then a sickening thought came over her. She had been away for more than a year in her time…If Underland's days were the equivalent of only a few minutes in her time, how long had it been since she'd left the Hatter? Ten years? Twenty? Thirty?...She dared not think more than that. What if the Hatter had moved on and found someone else? What if, now that Time was moving forward again in Underland, he was old and bedridden? Or worse…what if all of her friends were gone? She didn't allow herself to think the word "dead," for it left a bitter taste in her mouth that reminded her of bile and the day they laid her father in the ground. No. They were not dead. They could not be…She wiped a stray tear off her cheek. That was it. As soon as she got home, she was going to Underland, and she was going to find the Hatter. She did not dwell on what would happen should she find that he was no longer waiting for her.

And even as I wander  
I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window  
On a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

The trip to China had been fun. She had made new friends, tried new foods, and many new adventures, but through it all, she had never forgotten him. He was the guiding light that kept her from being afraid during the terrible storms at sea. He was the whisper of confidence in her ear when she was sword to sword with pirates. And he was the owner of the pair of electrifying green eyes that haunted her dreams since the day she'd left her home – her true home in Underland. She had been telling the truth when she said that she could not forget him…When she had come as a child, she had seen him only as a friend, an imaginary playmate of sorts that is fun for awhile but is eventually outgrown…But this time…This time he was so much more…

And I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever

Why hadn't she realized it before she drank the Jabberwocky blood? Why hadn't she noticed her feelings when he was standing right in front of her, pleading with her not to leave?

Maybe it was because she hadn't wanted to believe it. Maybe it was because she was afraid that loving a man would tie her down. Maybe it was because she'd seen the detestable behavior of men like Lowell one too many times and was afraid to trust someone with her heart. Or maybe it was because she realized that falling in love was part of growing up…and she was afraid that if she became too grown up, her Wonderland would vanish forever, and with it, her Hatter.

But she could no longer deny it. She was definitely in love…And besides, the Hatter would never tie her down – he'd be travelling and fighting and having adventures right there beside her. The Hatter would never break her heart - he'd had his own heart broken enough times to know that no one deserves that kind of pain. And just because she was growing up, she realized, that didn't mean she couldn't still believe in six impossible things…The Bandersnatch claw marks on her arm proved that Underland was most definitely not a dream.

Developing the first English trading post in China had been great fun – she had made history and completed a journey her father had never been able to make. For that she was eternally grateful, but there was one great adventure she had yet to experience – love. When she stepped off the ship at the London port, she would never again go on a mission without her beloved Hatter at her side. It was time to go home for good.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
Come crashing through your door  
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

The moment she escaped from her "Welcome Home" tea party at the Ascot residence, she scrawled a quick note for her mother and headed straight for the rabbit hole. Running as fast as her legs would carry her, she practically leaped into the hole, falling faster than she'd ever fallen before and screaming at the top of her lungs in exhilaration. She hit the floor with a thud, nearly smashing first the chandelier on the "floor," then the table that sat in the middle of the Room of Doors.

She desperately hoped that there would be some pishsalver and upulkechen waiting for her along with the key. This was the first time she had come to Underland completely uninvited, and she wondered what she would do if she found herself locked inside with no way of getting to either Underland or London. She glanced around worriedly but found nothing.

"Over here, you stupid girl."

She whirled around to find a magnificent blue butterfly perched upon a vial of liquid turned on its side in the floor. "Absolem!"

"Yes, it's me, stupid girl. And you nearly destroyed the bottle of pishsalver with that rather ungraceful landing of yours." His words were cross, but his face betrayed that he was happy to see her.

Alice ran over to greet her old friend, glad to see that he was still alive and well. She offered him her hand so that she could lift him to her eye level. "I haven't seen you since I left for China! How is everyone? How did you know I was coming? How long have I been away?"

"Underland is doing well since the White Queen's return to power. I knew you were coming because the Oraculum foretold it, and as for how long it has been, you should know by now, stupid girl, that Time is irrelevant in our dominion. He can slow down or speed up of his own free will, so we do not measure Time the way you do. However, there is one person for whom Time has been passing very slowly since your departure…"

"The Hatter?"

"Who else, stupid girl?"

Alice grinned and placed a gentle kiss atop the butterfly's head. "Thank you Absolem! It's good to see you again!"

The butterfly blushed and cleared his throat. "Well, um…It is good to have you back, Champion." He fluttered off her hand and flew out the tiniest door in the room, which she now noticed was left wide open. He then turned and called back to her. "Hurry up now with that pishsalver, so we can get going! Wouldn't want to be late for the tea party, now would we?" He winked mischievously. "And don't forget to bring along the upulkechen unless you want to be the size of the dormouse when you see him!"

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you  
I've been running round in circles in my mind  
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl  
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

Ever since Alice had left Underland, the Hatter had not been himself. It didn't make sense…He had once been so lively, so wonderfully, delightfully mad…but after the Red Queen had taken over, he had retreated into the inner recesses of his barely functional mind and had become a different sort of mad, a frightening, dangerous sort of mad that had worried all of his friends. When Alice had returned and set things right, they had been relieved to see a glimmer of that happy-go-lucky, futterwhackening Hatter they all knew and loved, but when she had decided to return to London, he went back into his shell again. It had gotten to the point where he was fighting bouts of madness nearly every five minutes, and his fits were getting worse by the day. Sometimes he would cry. Sometimes there was a fire in his eyes more frightening than the Red Queen's blade. And sometimes there was nothing…just an empty shell of a Hatter staring off into space, dazed and expressionless…And that was even more frightening than when he was angry. At least when he was upset, they knew that he was still functioning, but the nothingness…It was like staring into the face of death. And they wondered how long it would be before they lost him entirely.

The days had been agonizingly, painfully slow for him…And yet, it was all a blur. He could not tell when one day started and other one stopped. Half the time he was unaware that his friends were even there, which made it very difficult for him to distinguish day and night except for the loss of the sun…But even then, it was confusing because his days had not been as bright as they should have been since Alice had left. Time must have been truly enjoying himself at the Hatter's expense. It was like he was running around in circles in his head and didn't know right from left or up from down or mad hallucinations from reality. But he did know one thing…Alice would come back…He had to believe that to keep himself from going completely insane.

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Thoughts of Alice returning one day was the only thing that kept pulling him back to reality when he felt like losing himself in his muddled thoughts. She was like a star in the sky or a lighthouse on the coast that always guided him back safely to the harbor even when he thought he'd be lost forever in a storm of Outlandish swearing and nightmares of the Bloody Red Queen. She was the thing that kept him anchored in his sanity against the angry waves of madness.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever

It was time to admit it. He loved Alice Kingsleigh, and he desperately hoped for the day when she would return so he could just say it out loud and know once and for all how she felt. Then he would know whether to keep fighting the madness with Alice at his side or just throw away the oars and give up. 

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
Come crashing through your door  
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Suddenly, there was a rustle in the bushes. A flash of blue silk. A glimmer of blonde curls. Was it actually her? His eyes flickered between green and yellow. If this was another trick of that slurvish cat, he would skin him alive and use his fur to make a hat!

"Hatter?"

There was an audible gasp from Mally and Thackery. "Alice?"

The young woman flashed a brief smile in their direction but then brought her attention back to the Hatter who had not moved a muscle since she appeared. All eyes were on Alice as she walked to the head of the table.

"Hatter?" She touched his arm gently. He was a still as an alabaster statue. Only his eyes seemed to move as she carefully brought her hands to his cheeks the way she had once done in the castle at Salazen Grum. "Hatter, it's me. Alice. I came back just like I promised I would."

He still did not respond, and Alice was bordering on tears. She knew he had reason to be angry with her, but she had not expected such a cold welcome. She lowered her eyes let her hands slip to his shoulders, preparing to leave when she felt slight movement. The Hatter had stood up. Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a rather stiff, uncertain hug. "Alice…" he croaked in a voice that sounded like it had not been used in years. He could feel the tears slipping down his cheeks as he felt the pressure of her own arms wrapped around him in a loving embrace. Then, standing on her tiptoes, she brought a hand to his face, using her thumb to wipe away the tear, and brought his lips to hers. And in that moment, they both knew the answer to their unasked question. There wasn't a need for further explanation.


	9. Stomping the Roses

**Author's Note: **This chapter of "Mad Musical Melodies" is dedicated to my pro-Stayne friend KatherineNotGreat :) I'll admit, I am not usually a fan of Stayne, but when I heard this song, I immediately thought of Stayne and his relationship with Iracebeth. Since I don't usually write Stayne's character, I'm not entirely sure that I captured it correctly, but I hope this story will do him justice. Please R&R and enjoy! (Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out by now...Alice in Wonderland does NOT belong to me, and neither does David Archuleta's song "Stomping the Roses".)

**Stomping the Roses**

_**Wasting time  
Just going mindless  
Watching your charades**_

Ilosovic Stayne was growing tired of being the Red Queen's pawn…Well, technically he was a knave, but lately he had felt more like a pawn. He was certainly being used like one. One would think that with a head as large as hers she would be intelligent enough to notice that the visiting "Um from Umbridge" bore a strikingly similar resemblance to Alice Kingsleigh…He shook his head. Why on earth was he working for a woman who was so dense?

_So you can be the king_, he reminded himself. _When Alice and the White Queen have been stopped, she will make me her king, and I will rule all of Underland!_

_No, you idiot! She will not make you king! She wants to be the sole ruler of Underland! Why do you think she got rid of the last king? It wasn't just because he fancied Mirana…She just needed an excuse._

_Then I shall kill her and make myself king!_

_You do remember what happened to the last person who tried to take her crown, don't you?_

He rubbed a gloved hand over his throat nervously. He certainly did not want to end up as another one of the heads floating in the moat around the castle, but it seemed such a fate was inevitable if either he tried to escape or attempted a mutiny.

So he was stuck, it seemed. Doomed to live out the rest of his life at her beck and call.

"STAAAAAAAYNE!"

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he felt a headache coming on…a very noisy, ill-tempered, queen of a headache…

He sighed. "What did I do this time…?"

_**When you were younger  
Did it occur to you  
Ten years from then  
You'd act the same age?**_

When he really thought about it, Iracebeth was quite childish and immature. He had known the royal sisters since they were quite young, being the son of one of the castle servants, and though Mirana had grown up to be an even-tempered, smart woman with a good head on her shoulders, Iracebeth still acted like a spoiled little rich child. If she wanted it, she got it…If you displeased her, well…

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

Honestly, did that woman know how to say anything else?

And all of this fight over a silly crown? It seemed ridiculous! Of course, he would love to call the crown his own – who wouldn't? – but to constantly whine and complain that the crown was rightfully hers because she was the eldest when the girls' parents had chosen Mirana? It was like she was a five year-old who refused to share her toys.

And then, when Alice had escaped…she slapped him! Of all the nerve! Granted, she had escaped on the Bandersnatch…with the Vorporal Sword…But at this point, he really didn't care who won or lost. He just hated being caught up in the middle of a war that was not his own.__

I cannot carry on this way,  
Although I've carried all your every little thing  
Carry me away

He was going to have to find some way to get rid of that queen or get out from under her rule, at the very least! She was driving him insane, and the last thing he needed was to be accused of being mad like a certain annoying Hatter. But he was sick and tired of giving his everything to a woman who did not care about him in the least…In fact, he was beginning to think that working under Mirana might not be such a bad idea…At least then, if he messed up, the worst he would get would be the dungeons or exile…Anything was better than this…__

Did you feel like stomping the roses?  
Smashing out all the feeling inside them  
It's bad business  
The way you're stomping the roses

The knave remembered several years ago when Alice had first come to Underland. Iracebeth, then known as "The Queen of Hearts," a sort of second-in-command to Queen Mirana, had been furious to find that her gardeners had planted white roses instead of red ones in the garden. Once again, she had thrown her little tantrum and promised that heads would roll. And when she found out that instead of replacing the offending white roses, the cards had simply painted over them, she was absolutely furious! She went through the garden with the raging fury of a hurricane, stomping the roses left and right, crushing their delicate petals and snapping their slender thorned bodies like they were no more than ordinary twigs. That was the point when Stayne first began to realize that something was terribly wrong…__

I was flippin' channels on my television  
And it made me feel unwell  
One of those complicated soap operas  
I almost felt like I was watching myself

As a member of the court, Stayne had been privileged enough to see several plays throughout his life, a luxury that most could not afford. But lately, all of the plays that came to the theater at Salazen Grum seemed familiar, as if he had seen them before…or as if, perhaps, he himself had experienced what the characters were going through…As he watched the complicated love stories play out, he noticed one single familiar thread…The ending of all the great classics is never a happy one…and someone usually dies…[1]__

I cannot carry on this way,  
Although I've carried all your every little thing  
Carry me away

That someone, the knave decided, would NOT be him! There had to be a way out! There just had to be!__

Did you feel like stomping the roses?  
Smashing out all the feeling inside them  
It's bad business  
The way you're stomping the roses  
Everyone knows it

At one point in time, he had actually had feelings for Iracebeth…back before she was the Red Queen…before she was so vicious…But of course, she had been married, so it was out of the question. And even had she not belonged to another man, he was but a lowly knave. The chance of royalty marrying a servant was not likely.

She had used him. She had given him kisses and favors behind the king's back. She had told him that she loved him and would marry him one day after she was rid of the king, and he had believed her…He had believed every word of it…but the king had been dead for several years now, and where was her promise?

She had used him before, and she was still using him! He was a puppet, a marionette, and she was the puppeteer. He was the instrument that played whatever song she desired and then was dashed to the ground when she was the cause of a foul note. He was the horse, and she was the charioteer, cracking her whip over his head. He did all the dirty work like wreaking havoc on Horvendush Day and stealing the Oraculum while she sat upon her throne and did nothing but plot revenge against a sister who did not wish to fight. He was just as much a prisoner as those in the dungeons awaiting their turn at the chopping block…The only difference was that his prison didn't have bars…Just like the roses, he had been stepped on, bruised, and broken by this horrible tyrant. No more! __

I know I know I know I know it's over  
and I know I know I know I've  
Always been your token nice guy  
You know that you rule your whole world  
And thought I could live in it  
But I just can't..

He would NOT spend another day used and abused by such a selfish, stubborn woman. He would NOT answer to her every call. And he most certainly would NOT take the blame for any more of the Red Queen's actions. He was finished with her once and for all…If the White Queen had Alice as her Champion and the Vorporal Sword in hand, their Jabberwocky didn't stand a chance. He wouldn't even have to lift a finger in battle if he was lucky…The Champions would be the only ones to fight if everything went as planned, so he could simply stand by the Red Queen's side and not fight, then when red fell to white, he could turn himself over to Mirana and escape from the evils of Salazen Grum.__

You know you're stomping the roses  
Smashing out all the feeling inside them  
It's bad business  
The way you're stomping the roses  
Everyone knows it

"Where's your Champion, sister?" Iracebeth taunted.

"Here." And there was Alice, the same little girl who had stood up to the Queen of Hearts when she was only six to defend the knave in court when he had been accused of stealing tarts, now a woman who had tricked the Red Queen, scorned the advances of a potentially dangerous knave, and tamed a Bandersnatch all within a few days. And here she was, ready to face the Jabberwocky without a single trace of fear…He had to admit, though he somewhat disliked her for refusing him, he could not help but admire her.

"Hello, Um." Was she taunting Alice, or was she actually dumb enough to believe that Alice and "Um" were two different people? He wouldn't put it past her…__

Stomping the roses  
Smashing out all the feeling inside them  
It's bad business  
The way you're stomping the roses

Shoot. There wasn't supposed to be an interference! That had not been part of Stayne's original plan, and now he was at a loss for what to do. He contemplated running her through right then and there, but one look from Iracebeth was all it took for him to know that he would be the one with a million of the card soldiers' spears sticking out of him if he did anything wrong. Reluctantly, he drew his sword. He hesitated, his sword in the air, ready and poised for an unwilling duel to the death.

Stayne had never been fond of the Hatter – he was too colorful, too mad, too irritating…But he had nothing against him personally, save the fact that Alice preferred the Hatter's company instead of his. But the Hatter had plenty of reason to dislike the knave – he was responsible for the death of his entire clan and had attempted to steal Alice's heart in a most inappropriate manner.

The moment he saw the fire flash in the Hatter's eyes, he knew that he was a goner. Not that he didn't deserve it…but he was a little frightened. Not so much of death itself but what lay beyond…His soul definitely had quite a few marks on them, most of which, he regretted…If he lived through this, he would change his ways…

The Hatter's sword was at his throat, and he thrust his hands up in defeat. So this was what it was like staring down death…This was what it felt like to be the one who was awaiting the chopping block…It was rather fitting, he thought, that he would fall at the hands of the one whose family he had taken…For that, he was truly sorry…He waited for the killing blow, for the cold steel to slide across his throat. But it never came.

Curiouser and curioser. He looked up to see that Alice had defeated the Jabberwocky, its head rolling down the steps of the ruins like a child's ball.

The Hatter, having regained his senses, realized that they had won…There was no need for further death. The Red Queen had caused enough of that. He looked at the sword, then at Stayne, then at the sword again before tossing the weapon to the ground as though it had done something offensive and backing away.

Stayne scrambled to his feet and nodded gratefully at his former enemy…and was then chained to his newest enemy and former employer, Iracebeth of Crims.

He made one last attempt at freedom, lifting a dagger above her head, but before he could bring it down, he felt a stabbing pain in his wrist and looked to see the Hatter, slightly smirking at the situation as if to say, "I let you live, but you won't get off that easy."

At that point, he became desperate. He begged for his own death, but of course, it went against the White Queen's vows, and it would be a far greater punishment to spend the rest of his life with _her_. He couldn't say that Mirana had been unfair…but oh, what a mess he had gotten himself into!

Now he was quite literally stuck with the woman he most despised until one of them died or went insane…Great…Just great…

"STAAAAYNE!" she screeched.

Stayne rolled his eyes and sighed. This was going to be a very long punishment…__

Ooooh...  
Stomping.. oh stomping yeah..  
Oh oh hoo yeah  
Take it easy, Yeah

[1] Okay, am I the only one who has noticed this? We always used to joke about the quite obvious lack of happy endings in all of the "classic" literature in Honors/AP English class, so this is a shout-out to all my fellow students who suffered through and survived AP English Not that the classics aren't good…They're just…not my style.


	10. Home

**Author's Note: **I will never own Alice in Wonderland, no matter how much I migtht want to :( I also don't own the song "Home" by Daughtry. This is probably going to be my final chapter, but I may add more later on. Anyway, I wanted to end on a happy Alice/Hatter note, so here it is! Enjoy!

P.S. - I've been noticing that seems to messing up some of my formatting when I publish the stories. Songs lyrics that are supposed to be in italics haven't always been showing up that way. Sorry for the inconvenience.

**Home**

_I'm staring out into the night,  
Trying to hide the pain.  
I'm going to the place where love  
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

Alice stood on the balcony, staring out at the stars that flecked the evening sky in London. It was hard to see the stars here because of all the city lights, but somehow she managed to pick out the one she was looking for. There. Right there, just above Orion's belt. At the very tip of his sword. It was their star. Her star.

When she had been young, her father used to take her out to look at the stars every night. He told her that if she looked close enough, she could see stories written in the stars, pictures of valiant heroes woven into the blanket of night. She smiled sadly. In Underland, the celestial figures actually acted out plays in the sky. The Hatter had shown them to her once on a different balcony in a different land…

Alice sighed. When her father had been gone away on extended business trips, she would look up at that star with the comfort of knowing that somewhere, halfway across the world from where she was, her father could see the same star, the wishing star. But that trick didn't work for the friends she'd left behind in Underland, for Underland did not have the same stars as London. She missed them, had missed them terribly since she left. All the way to China and back, they had been on her mind. Now that she had tied up all of her loose ends in Overland, she began pondering the unanswered questions she had about Underland. Somewhere along the way in her adventures in Overland, she had discovered that she was madly in love with a dashing Mad Hatter. What would her life be like if she chose to spend the rest of it with him? The last time she was there, he had asked her to stay, but did he still feel that way now, after all this time?

Well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.

Alice did not belong in Overland, of that much she was sure. There were so many expectations in this world that she could never live up to, so many standards that she never met. There were silly rules about what was proper and improper – rules about corsets and stockings and who was allowed to marry whom.

In Underland, none of that mattered. No one cared about wealth or title. No one cared how strange you looked or how mad you acted. They loved one another for who they were, not what they looked like or how much money they had.

The adventure to China had been a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime experience that she would never forget and a magnificent tribute to her father. But would her father really want her to continue the business if her heart was not in it? Charles Kingsleigh would have loved Underland…perhaps he had even visited it himself! She wouldn't doubt it from the way he had talked of impossible things! No, he would have wanted her to be happy, to follow her heart. And it was then that she made a decision that would change her life forever.

The North Star had led countless sailors home over the years. Long ago, the Christmas Star had led three Wise Men to the home of the One who was the Savior they had been looking for. Perhaps tonight the Wishing Star would grant her request and lead her home, as well.

_I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
Well I'm going home._

"Alice?" Helen Kingsleigh stepped quietly onto the balcony, placing a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Alice, why are you still – " She cut herself short, suddenly noticing what the girl had been staring at. She smiled softly. "Charles used to love looking at the stars with you when you were young. He said your eyes would light up like Christmas candles whenever he told you stories."

Alice smiled sadly. "Father's stories were always the best…" She bit her lip, not knowing how to tell her mother about her decision to leave. "Mother, do you remember when I turned down Hamish how I said that he wasn't the right man for me?"

"Yes." Helen waited for her next words with baited breath.

"Well…I believe that have found the man who is." She was silent for a moment, watching her mother's face to see her reaction, but there was not one – not judgment, not anger, not even surprise…There was simply a calm, knowing look in her eyes. Alice took this as a sign to continue. "Mother, it's not that I don't love the life I have here, I do! I-it's just that…I have finally found someone who understands me, who would risk his life for me!...Mother, I love you and Margaret and working for the company, but I don't feel as though I belong here anymore and – "

"Go to him, Alice."

Alice stared at her mother in shock. "What?"

Helen smiled. "Ever since you got back from China, you've been restless. I suspected as much, but I didn't want to say anything, since I know how you despise being pressured about suitors…" Helen sighed and placed a hand beneath her daughter's chin so that she was looking directly into her eyes. "I will miss you, but if you are happy with him, then I cannot ask you to stay. Charles and I prayed every day for your happiness and that, in time, the Lord would send you the right man. If you have found him, then who am I to you away? It is your life, Alice. Go live it."

Alice smiled and wrapped her mother in a tearful embrace, thankful that she understood but sad to leave such a wonderful family behind.

_The miles are getting longer, it seems,  
The closer I get to you.  
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.  
But your love remains true.  
And I don't know why.  
You always seem to give me another try._

The Hatter trudged through the Tulgy Woods toward the Room of Doors. He had made up his mind – or at least, whatever was left of it – to go visit Alice. Something had been eating him up inside ever since she left to go back to Overland. He was left feeling void and empty, like he had lost some of his muchness. And perhaps he had. He'd had enough muchness to ask Alice to stay, but he hadn't had enough to tell her how he really felt about her. Ever since that day in the Red Queen's castle, he knew that what he felt for her was more than just friendship. And if Alice wasn't willing to stay in his world, then he would go stay in hers if she would allow it.

A few spiraling briars caught on his sleeve, slightly ripping the already tattered material. He mumbled a few colorful Outlandish curses at the offending plant. He hadn't seen her in quite some Time, and he wanted to look his best for her. He took a moment to straighten his top hat and brush away a few leaves that gotten themselves stuck in his mess of flaming orange hair. He wondered what people from Overland dressed like. Would he fit in among them? Most like not, for even among the colorful characters of Underland he stuck out like a sore thumb. But he didn't let the thought trouble him for very long. He was going to see his Alice, and that was all that mattered…

That is, if he could ever find his way out of this bloody forest! The Hatter knew his way around Underland like the back of his hand. He was certain that he was headed the right way, but it seemed as though with every step he took closer to Alice, it was taking longer and longer to get there. Which should have been impossible, but…this was Underland, after all.

The Hatter giggled. When Alice was little, she always hated such nonsense. If it didn't make sense to her, then it wasn't so. But that was part of what he most admired about her…She was never afraid to stand up for what she believed in or speak her mind...which is why it had meant so much to him when she told him that all the world's best people are mad. Alice just didn't lie about things like that. And up until that point, he realized, he hadn't been a very good friend to her…He had lashed out at her when she said she didn't slay as though it was her fault that his family was gone. He had pushed her to do something she didn't want to do out of selfishness and a desire to avenge his clan. Yet she had come for him, she had forgiven him, and she had put the needs of Underland above her own safety to slay the Jabberwocky. What an amazing woman.

So I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,

The Hatter was leaving everything he ever knew behind. His friends, his tea table, his home…No, that last part wasn't true. He belonged with Alice. Wherever she was, his heart was with her, and as long as they could be together, he would be home. Besides, what was left of his home here? The charred remains of his village? A half-broken old windmill? He would miss his friends, but besides them, he wasn't really leaving anything that important behind. He had already said his goodbyes, and he wasn't looking back.

Be careful what you wish for,  
'Cause you just might get it all.  
You just might get it all,  
And then some you don't want.  
Be careful what you wish for,  
'Cause you just might get it all.  
You just might get it all, yeah.

When Alice had left Underland, she'd thought that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. Ever since she was young, she had loved stories of adventure, and ever since her father had died, she had hoped to one day take over the company, leaving a legacy for the only man besides the Hatter who had ever held such a special place in her heart. She got everything she wished for, but when she returned home to London, she had realized that there was still something missing…or rather, someone. She had been half way around the world and seen more than most women of her day and age would see in a lifetime, but no place on earth could compare with Wonderland, and no man could compare with Hatter. How foolish she had been! She had gone on a journey to find her place in the world when the only place she would ever truly belong had been right beneath her nose her entire life! And that place was in the Hatter's arms.

Oh, well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.

_I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me._

Alice was running. But for once, she was not running away from something, she was running toward it. Running toward her future, her home, her Hatter. The trees clawed at her dress, the wet leaves and roots tried to make her stumble, and the briars bit into arms, but she didn't care. There was only one thing on her mind, and she nothing would stop her until she found him.

_But these places and these faces are getting old.  
I said these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home._

A swirl of slate-gray mist settled in the tree just above Tarrant's head. "You're headed the wrong way, you know," the Chesire cat grinned down at his old acquaintance. The cat momentarily disappeared, then reappeared holding the top hat just barely out of the Hatter's reach.

The Hatter's eyes turned a dangerous orange. "Chess, if ye think ya can stop meh from goin' tah see the lass, then you're sadly mistaken. Now give me back mah hat!"

"I'm not trying to stop you, dear friend…I'm simply trying to…stall you…"

There was the sound of approaching feet. It seemed as though someone was in quite a hurry! Then the footsteps suddenly slowed. "Chess, is that you?"

Tarrant would know that voice anywhere. He stood open-mouthed. The cat merely winked, returning the top hat before he disappeared, leaving only his signature grin behind.

"Alice?" The Hatter could hardly believe she had returned.

"Hatter?" The bushes rustled, then suddenly burst open to reveal Underland's Champion. Her dress was torn and dirty. Her hair was tangled and had twigs sticking out, and her arms were scratched from the many briars she had fought, but to the Hatter, she was the most beautiful sight in the world. "HATTER!"

She came flying into his arms at lightning speed, nearly knocking him over from the force. She grinned up at him. "I'm staying this time, Hatter. I'm staying here forever."

"B-but I thought you had things to do…Questions to answer…I-I thought…"

"All finished."

The Hatter's eyes turned a light violet, a color she had never seen before. His accent was present, but soft. "Well, then, lass…Ah 'ave one question that Ah still need ye to answer…" He slowly got down one knee, took her hands in his, and looked into her eyes. "Would ye ever consider marryin' a lowly hatter?"

Alice knelt so that she was at eye level with him. "Only one particular Hatter." She smiled, and the Hatter looked as though he might futterwhacken right then and there. "But I forgot about one particular question that I still have not found the answer to."

The Hatter's face fell.

Alice leaned in close kissed him gently on the lips. "Hatter, why _is_ a raven like a writing desk?"

_I'm going home.  
_


End file.
